Tip 1: Teens want to please you.
Most typical American teens do their best to behave, follow societies norms and get positive reinforcement from their parents or teachers. The kids get it. They really do. They know wrong from right. Ask them what they think they should do in a specific circumstance. Pushing your beliefs about behaviors and way of seeing the world will only push them away.
Tip 2: Set a good example
Certain behaviors, like spending hours on electronics, frustrate most parents. However, if you want your teen to get off their electronics, you need to as well. That means T.V., laptops and Ipads too. If you want you child to buy-in to your beliefs about how many hours should be spend plugged-in, then you need to follow the same rules and lead by example. On the same note, if you have a teen who is asked to unplug but you do not spend time with them, they will get bored and either go right back to the electronics or make your life miserable with complaints and whining.Teens make good choices when they see their parents modeling them.
Tip 3: Your child is not you and vice versa
Your child is a unique individual and as a teen may no longer see the world the way you do. Therefore, respecting their beliefs the way you want yours to be respected will go a long way towards a healthy parent/child relationship. Showing teens respect helps them learn how to show it to others.
4: No two teens are the same, even twins.
Different rules and expectations are helpful for each child in a home. No two adults are alike so we can’t expect our children to behave the same. When having expectations for behaviors, they should be adapted to fit the needs and maturity of each child in the home. Some teens are super responsible and always get their homework done on time, others need a bit more prompting.
5: Keep lines of communication open.
Teens are more likely to make good choices in their behaviors if they know they can screw up and still talk to you about it. If they feel judged every time they talk, they will learn to only talk to their friends. Let them talk to you about anything and everything, even if it doesn’t interest you. When it is important, they will feel that you are a good/open listener and they will turn to you when the going gets tough.
The teen years are difficult.
Our children are finding their own ways and finding their own voices. Their behaviors and beliefs may no longer align with ours. Let them know you still love them and you support their growth and development into adulthood. Instead of punishing them for making a different choice than you would have made or believing something differently than yourself, ask them how they came to their conclusion or how doing that behavior made them feel? Learn about them and help them determine what are the best behaviors and beliefs for them, so they can be their most authentic self.
*If your teen is struggling to make safe choices for themselves or are putting others in danger, please seek the help of a qualified professional.
To learn more :
see an additional article on the topic here: https://wehavekids.com/parenting/Sources-of-Conflict-Between-Parents-and-Teenagers
Reading for your teen: